Insanity
Here’s the problem with having my job… I was just out to the store. On the way back I wound up stopped, waiting for traffic to clear before I walked across the street. While waiting, this guy flies at me out of nowhere, and starts screaming at me about God’s vengeance. I brace myself, and get set for a long, heated argument (I tend not to back down from these things).
I was two minutes into this when I suddenly realized that this guy is genuinely nuts. I mean “off his meds” nuts. He didn’t know me, and had never read anything I’ve written.
Funny, though, how much he sounded like every other religious nutbar who comes screaming at me on God’s behalf….
Filed under Odd History, Stuff · Tagged with Atheism, atheist
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I am new to the blogging world. And also new to owning up to my complete disregard for religion. I have been picking up extra work for the census lately. Yesterday I knocked on this guy’s door. He was like 6 foot 6, and 315 pounds in his socks. I said, “hi I’m with the US Census.” He says: “I ain’t doin any of that census bullshit.” I say, “why not” he goes, “because Jesus, is coming and the world’s going to be consumed in flame.” And I said, “well then it doesn’t really matter, is what you’re saying.” And he goes. “That’s right.” And I said, “Well, in that case, since it doesn’t really matter either way, and the world is going to be consumed in flame, why don’t you go ahead and answer my census questions.” The dude squints at me for a second to see if I’m being a wise ass, and then says: “are you a communist?” I am not a communist, but I hedged my bets and went ahead and told him that it was against my religion to lie, “so I have to admit to you, sir, that I am in fact a communist.” He glared at me for a while and said. “That’s cool, you’re honest, I’ll do your interview–as long as you’re not gay.” Just for the hell of it I said, “I’m sorry to inform you sir, but I’m gay.” To which he huffed, spat across his door step at my feet and slammed the door. This was a very strange encounter with yet another ridiculous Christian. Thought I’d pipe in here.
You should have also told him you were a midget.
Whenever someone tells me how ‘X’ loves me, as they hand me some unwanted literature, I weither say “sorry, I’m Pagan”, (which is about as close as I get, ‘post Catholic’, to such issues lately), or these last coupla times, I say something like, “when next I supplicate the Gods, including Odin, Thor, {plus/minus how many other Deities I mention}, I’ll remeber to put in a good word for ya”;
It’s almost as much fun as a ‘baseball bat w/ nails’ & you DON’T get arrested, despite the quasi-theocracy that once was these United States.