THE EVOLUTION OF THE HEATHEN
Quoted from “The Heathen’s Guide to World Religions”
Birthers, Truthers, and Aliens: A Conspiracy of Stupidity
The world seems angry about a whole heap of idiotic issues these days. I want to take a second to address these ideas with my usual diplomatic tact (roughly akin to a blunt-force trauma).
The Rumor: 9/11 was an “Inside job”. This group, known as “Truthers” believe that Bush and his cronies either set [...]
Support for Satan’s One-World Government
On May 14, 2009, the evil global elite met in Greece for the yearly Bilderberg Conference. For those who don’t know, the Bilderberg Conference is an annual meeting of the Western world’s elite. Only the most powerful bankers, economists, oil barrens, and media moguls are allowed to attend. According to most right-wing Christians, it is [...]
Virgin Births (an excerpt from The Heathen’s Guide to Christmas)
The Nativity
‘I wanted to give birth as opposed to being delivered.‘ ~ Ricki Lake
Let’s start with a little game of Virgin Birth. Here’s the way it works: find someone who’s pro-Christian/pro-Christmas. After assuring them that you’re not going to offend them with a bit of historical fact (lie) read the following bits [...]
The Myth of Good and Evil: From Hitler to Mother Teresa
These days, the archetypes of good and evil in our society are Mother Teresa and Hitler, respectively. If you start with these two as the paradigms, it becomes pretty easy to figure out what “Good” and Evil” are really all about.
I admit that I have never met Adolf Hitler. Fortunately for this blog [...]
How the Christian Right are paving the way for Militant Islam
You see it on bumper stickers every day: “Jesus is Lord”. “King of Kings”. “Lord of All.” Were people voting with their bumpers, Jesus would win by a landslide.
But when the American right speaks of religion in politics, they are referring to Christianity. When they fight for more religion in the [...]
Want to understand How Nutbar Scientology really is? Ask Hubbard.
I thought long and hard about what I should write about Scientology. In the end, I decided the best thing I could do to show Scientology up for the fraud it is would be to let L. Ron Hubbard (the founder of Scientology) do it for me.
Unlike Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, Scientology’s founder has [...]
The Bible
The bible is to history what Miami Vice is to police work. It covers very small, very selective parts of history and mixes them in with a lot of morality tales (Jonah, Job, etc.) that have nothing to do with the history of the human race. Notably, the bible omits the histories of most of [...]
Ockham’s Razor
The bane of my existence:
To challenge a religious belief, you need at least one Ph.d.
To be a missionary, you need to be breathing. (Strike that. Breathing is optional.)
The net result of this is that the vast, vast majority of people are told that they “just don’t understand”, while at the same time every idiot with [...]
The Split between Islam and Judaism
There’s something in my brain that keeps me up at night, thinking about ridiculously old religious history. I’ve tried massive amounts of Jack Daniel’s, but this only leads to thinking about ridiculously old religious history with bed spins and nausea. I don’t recommend it.
Anyway, I have decided to try blogging it.
Tonight I’m mulling over the [...]
